I immediately went to the thought..."what's wrong with me?"

Not because I wanted him now but, because he didn't want me then. It's a reoccuring them. An awful one. So I go to the only person who gets this and this is what she says.

It's like Season 3 of SATC. Big goes away to Paris and comes home with a new gf/fiance/very soon to be wife. And Carrie, who waited on him for 2 years, the guy who said he didn't want to get married, is left with the question "Why her? Why not me?"

Carrie felt like she had done all the hard word, "breaking in" Big for marriage so that the next woman who came along was the one who got him. Because she had somehow gotten him to the place.

Do you remember this episode. At the end she sees Big in the street and ask him. He didn't have an answer. But she finally had an answer for herself. This was the episode where she says: Maybe some women aren't meant to be tamed. Maybe they just need to run free till they find someone just as wild to run with them.What Carrie realized is that maybe she didn't "break in" Big, but rather, she was the one who was unable to be broken in. He couldn't tame her, because of the kind of woman she was. She was not the plain pretty girl with obedient hair. She was not easy. Men want to be with women who are easy.

You, my dear Tara, are nothing of the sort. You are me, and I am you, and we are not tame, we cannot be broken in, and we will never be easy. We will simply be. And by that, I mean we will be who we are. We are intimidating because we are something different.

This is what I must remember. This is what we must remember. We are strong women. We are the type of women that our mothers wanted us to be. That's why they instilled in us such independence. We fight our own battles. We wear our scars with pride. We won't just sit back and watch you hurt us. We will find our own way. If that means that you don't want to come with us, that's your decision. We know that we are never truly alone. We have our angels and we have each other. Whether we are climbing mountains or mole hills...jumping or falling...swimming or sinking...staying or going, we are together. Surviving this crazy thing called our lives.

Letting go is Love

Who knew that now would be the time to let go? A time when everything is so close to being right and I'm letting go of the one person who I always thought I would share it with. We've both moved on. We've both grown so apart. We've learned to love anew. We taught each other what love was so many years ago and now, we are loving others. It's so strange but, I guess that is how it works.

LETTING GO TAKES LOVE

To let go does not mean to stop caring, it means I can't do it for someone else.
To let go is not to cut myself off, it's the realization I can't control another.
To let go is not to enable, but allow learning from natural consequences.
To let go is to admit powerlessness, which means the outcome is not in my hands.
To let go is not to try to change or blame another, it's to make the most of myself.
To let go is not to care for, but to care about.
To let go is not to fix, but to be supportive.
To let go is not to judge, but to allow another to be a human being.
To let go is not to be in the middle arranging all the outcomes, but to allow others to affect their destinies.
To let go is not to be protective, it's to permit another to face reality.
To let go is not to deny, but to accept.
To let go is not to nag, scold or argue, but instead to search out my own shortcomings and correct them.
To let go is not to adjust everything to my desires, but to take each day as it comes and cherish myself in it.
To let go is not to criticize or regulate anybody, but to try to become what I dream I can be.
To let go is not to regret the past, but to grow and live for the future.
To let go is to fear less and love more
Remember: The time to love is short