2008 gave me a split weekend. I was able to enjoy a wonderful wedding this weekend. It was a joy to spend with such dear friends and family. It was a beautiful wedding. One much needed to help me prepare for Sunday.
What a morning. Early up and back to Cabot. My car was at my mom's so we stopped by there to pick it up. It was here that she had the look and the sound in her voice. Something was very very wrong. In the most unexpected and worst way. Our Brandon was hurting. He had been hurting. We just didn't know it. He took his life on Saturday. Through the shock and the pain, I felt familiar feelings creeping up on me. The questions. Knowing that there aren't any answers. What can I do to possibly help with the pain? This is one that I can't do anything about. I still have too many questions from Matt to even begin to be able to heal with my family over Brandon.
He was such a beautiful boy. He was only a boy. He had so much to live for and that's where I'm lost. I used to keep he and his brother and sister when they were tiny things. He was that child. I'm just at a loss. For the first time in years, I saw Matt again. I havent' had the dream in forever and it shakes me to the core that there he was with Brandon. It shakes me to the core.
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