Forgiveness

Most mornings on my drive to work is when I have my time. My time to think, sing, talk to myself or just be in silence. It's how I gear up for the day and whatever it may entail. (Because we all know that it's my world and something is bound to happen!)

Here lately I have started listening to a christian station and I find such peace in the mornings. This morning was no different. But, the topic of the morning struck me dead center. Forgiveness. They were discussing the Tucson tragedy and how Gifford's husband wants to see the shooter because he forgives him. From there they started talking about situations where they had forgiven or been blessed with forgiveness from someone they had hurt.

And then these words were spoken...

Forgiveness is not about waiting on someone to say I'm sorry. It's not even about that person. Forgiveness is about one person. Yourself. Forgiveness is between you and God. Even though you forgive someone doesn't mean that they will be a part of your life or that things will go back to before the moment someone needed forgiveness.

And it hit me. Forgiveness. True Forgiveness is the first step out of that moment. What a wonderful thought that is. I can literally see myself taking so many first steps I could run a 5K! I listened and absorbed all that God was telling me. And then I started talking back.

I asked God to stand beside me and help me. And while I never thought it would happen on I-30 on my drive to work, I felt it. I felt him. I felt parts of me heal that I long ago buried and hid. I took my first steps towards becoming the person I so badly want to be. Not only was I forgiving but, I felt forgiven. And my oh my what an amazing feeling!

I have always heard others talk about when God talks to them. I often wondered if I wasn't listening close enough. Well, this morning I heard him loud and clear. And what a wonderful conversation it was!