When is enough, enough?

When is the point that you just save whatever dignity you have left and just bow out gracefully...or in my case without falling over? When do you know when the time has come to just walk away?

I'm torn. I've been torn.

Yesterday, I surrounded myself with four other women and we had a blast. There was no drama. We talked and giggled about everything but, drama. It was wonderful. I don't get that very often.

I'm in an impossible situation. No matter what they say, I'm stuck in the middle of two of the very best people. But, here's the catch. One is still present in my life. One realizes that I'm having my own heartaches and mini battles while the other seemingly doesn't notice my absence that she created. I've tried. Lord knows I've tried.

I've invited to meet up. To do fun normal things. Instead I get blown off or accused of ambushing. That isn't fair. But, what is even worse is that now I'm worried about her. I'm worried about her stability and mental health. I of all people know that you can only hold so much inside for so long without it having some kind of effect on how you see the world.

I know it is pointless to fight for a relationship that the other half isn't willing to fight for. I know this. I learned this lesson. Yet, I still find myself defending, wanting to talk to, wanting to see...and still I get nothing in return.

I deserve better than nothing. I deserve and true friend who is there for me every step of the way. Yes, we all have our own lives but, friendships are supposed to enrich those lives. I'd hardly call arguing, blaming, and definitely not forgiving enrichment.