The Monday Blues

Sure, every Monday has it's blues. But, here lately there have been way more blues than joys. Already 2008 has taken and hurt those that I love. My precious Lee has been through so much the last two years and she needs a break. She needs something miraculous. And that is not a helicopter landing in her backyard!

The last two weeks alone have rocked my world. I thought that I had this thing we call a life figured out. I had settled into a groove and I thought I knew who I could depend on and who would always be there. And then life really happened.

My baby, my precious Ella got sick. And within 24 hours I went from having four babies and not a worry, to three and this overwhelming pain. There are moments still, where I just ache for her. I feel like there is this hole and all of this emotion that used to be there just for her is just this rock in the bottom of my stomach. I don't have the correct words to describe it but, there are moments that come completely out of nowhere, will take me back to the day I last had her. To that moment where she leaned her beautiful head in my hands gave me one last kiss and then she was gone. That moment tears at my soul.

And now, apparently 2008 has decided to test us once again. An angel earned her wings. She is free from the cancer and happily dancing and drinking her margarita's. However, she left behind another angel. One who is seemingly lost without her mother. An angel that was brought into my life by what one could only describe as my life. We are so much of the same person, there are moments when it freaks us both out. Let alone those who aren't privy to "our" world. No one seems to understand us like we do. That is both a blessing and dangerous thought. We know that there will always be at least one person on our side, however, we both know that there are moments when we simply have to step back.

It's hard to believe that it's only been two years and already I can tell you what she's thinking before she thinks it. We've already been through the worst of the worst and the best of the best. Yet still, in the short month that 2008 has been there has been no denying our bond. From our matching shirts, to our matching cups, to our matching broken hearts we are quite the duo. Slowly but surely, we are walking side by side down the rough, crappy, stinky road of 2008 at the moment. I won't say life because it's got to get better...right! Yea, I know. In my world, things can always get worse.

I just hope, just for right now...that they don't. That I get my so dearly needed puppy, Lee finds the peace, Donna watches both of us, and the missing part of our trio finds her way back. After all, I am Gigi, She is Jez and we are aimlessly meandering with our peanut.